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RELATIONSHIP: Why You Shouldn’t Neglect The Warning Signs (Red Flags) In The Choice Of A Life Partner

RELATIONSHIP: Why You Shouldn’t Neglect The Warning Signs (Red Flags) In The Choice Of A Life Partner

RELATIONSHIP: Don't Neglect The Warning Signs (Red Flags) In The Choice Of A Life Partner

Marriage is one institution that was established by God in the garden of Eden. One of the core mandates of marriage, is companionship.
The bible makes us understand that God had made the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and everything that moved upon the earth. Male and female God made them, but for Adam, there was no help mate.

The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. – Genesis 2:20. [ESV]

So while in the midst of  all that God had made in the garden, Adam still felt lonely. It occurs to me that Adam was even searching frantically among what God had made, to see, if he could find a companion but to no avail hence, there was not found a helper fit for him.
The other animals in the garden provided companionship to each other, but definitely, none was fit for Adam.
And when God saw that Adam was lonely, He decided to provide him a companion.

The LORD God also said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make for him a suitable helper.” – Genesis 2:18

So what did God do?
He caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep, took his rib, and enclosed it in flesh, forming a suitable helper for Adam.

So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. – Genesis 2:21

The rate of divorce in the society today is quite alarming that one may be made to wonder what’s actually responsible in the present dispensation.
People marry for all sorts of different reasons rather than the intentions of God for marriage.
We live in a world today where people even marry contractually.
The absence of love and submission among couples today is also attributable to the alarming rate of divorce in recent time.
Courtship is a time when a man and a woman enter into a relationship for the purpose of getting acquainted with the person whom they are planning to spend the rest of their lives with.
Marriage was meant to be a perpetual union as long as the other partner lives.

And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.
And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?
They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.”
And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. – Mark 10:2 -9 [KJV]

This is why one should heed warning signs, and seek the face of God, while searching for a life partner. God who sees ahead of time, often gives His children warning signs when there is danger ahead, so as to caution them about a path they are taking, that may be detrimental to their well being, or that may affect their relationship with Him.
Often we ignore these warning signs either because we are blinded my immediate gains, and when it has to do with love relationships, the transient joy and sweetness of being with the one(s) our heart longs for, infatuations, as well as other such factors, becloud our human reasoning, and spiritual sensitivity to the imminent warnings of God, which may be red alerts He is trying to draw our attentions to.
Forsake those warning signs, and you’ll definitely regret in the near future.
In the courtship phase as a Christian brother or sister before marriage, you discover pride, haughtiness, high-headedness, worldly attachment, lack of submission, arrogance, and other incompatibilities you know for certain that you can’t tolerate in marriage. You however ignore them, and tell yourself that you will try to change him/her after you are married.
Who told you if you cannot change him or her now while you are courting, you’ll be able to change him or her later.
In fact, he/she will be more difficult to change after the commitment, unless God performs a miracle through your fervent and effectual prayer.
Humans will find it difficult to leave behind what they have made as characters, and as parts of their daily lives, hence it will take grace to change a chain smoker, a womanizer, a drug addict, to list but a few.
Why would you want to go to that extent where you’ll be crying every night, praying to get out of the marriage, when the power of decision is in your hands before you tie the knot.
Why did you enter into courtship in the first place?
Was it just to behold the beauty of the other person?
If you notice warning signs otherwise “red alerts” before your marriage, ask yourself “can I take this”, “what if he/she doesn’t change, can I stand this for life?” 
Don’t forget that some bad behaviours of the person you are planning to get married to could actually lead to your death.
Imagine getting married to a man that beats you up at every provocation, who doesn’t mind beating you black and blue.
Imagine getting married to a wife who could set you up to be beaten, either because she is more connected, more powerful, richer, in the military, etc.
Sometimes Christians are so drawn to the outward beauty that they forget to, or refuse to hear that inner caution – “this one is not for you”.
But wait, what is a fire-brand brother doing with a Jezebel of a woman. 
Even her dressing sells her. She doesn’t mind displaying any part of her body for public consumption, when she dresses, you ask “is this one born again?” there’s no modesty to her makeup, her major interest is her beauty, she is more concerned about her outward appearance than her spiritual up-build, character development, and inner beauty.
Brother firebrand, do you see any compatibility between you and such a person?
Scripture says: “how can two walk together except they agree” 

Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? – Amos 3:3 [NIV]
And I like how the International Standard Version (ISV) further explains it: “Will a couple walk in unity without having met?”
When there is no agreement between you and such a one, don’t you know that divorce will be the final thoughts on your mind, hence the final outcome when your peace, joy, comfort, and probably life is threatened?
This analogy does not apply to firebrand brothers alone. It also applies to firebrand sisters. Look for someone in the same class with you. I don’t mean financial class here, or such classes, and stratifications, as we are placed by society.
Why are you seeking to marry someone who is not born again when you are actually born again?
Are you hoping to convert him or her after the marriage?

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? – 2 Corinthians 6:14 [NIV]


I hope you’ll begin to mind the little details, warnings and red alerts popping up in your relationship phase. They may be warning signals the Lord wants you to take not of. Do not neglect them.
We can pray like this: O Lord, help me to be mindful of the warning signs you show me on a daily basis regarding courtship. I acknowledge your efforts to put me in the right path, for You are always thinking the best for me. Help me to be mindful of these warning signs, and to be sensitive to Your Spirit henceforth. Thank You Lord for the answered prayer. In Jesus mighty name I pray. Amen!
Have you been blessed by this post, do you have a story to share regarding this topic in connection with your personal experiences, then don’t forget to drop your comments below.

Don’t forget to also share with your friends and loved ones, as sharing is caring. They may also benefit one or two things on this topic. God bless you.

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